Don’t be so nice to me, I fall in love so easily

Waylon Jennings

Common dating advice is to play hard to get but scientific research on the psychology of love suggests otherwise. The key point here is: Reciprocal Liking.

The perception of how the other feels is KEY in deciding whether to engage in a relationship. This is not gender specific, men just as women need these indicators. 

Of course the first step is mutual attraction, if that already exists showing interest creates a positive feedback loop. The other feels secure enough to show you they like you, you feel secure enough to show them, and so on. Being difficult and rarely available will make a healthy person bored, wary and withdraw, whilst being difficult or unavailable to someone who is not that interested will just confuse you as you won’t have any insight as to whether they like you or not. 

Naturally I am not suggesting exhibiting bunny-boiler levels of commitment, but a critical ingredient for cultivating a relationship is to show them you like them by being available and engaged and natural.